Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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