It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i out mim tonsoeep
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