i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
