I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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