Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
