Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
