In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize