sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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