I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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