Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
