Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
