i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
