hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
