Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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