butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
