some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MIDGETS
????
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
