Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
