I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
