She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
