Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
