Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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