I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
