i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
