Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Enjoy the penises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
