I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize