Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
