I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
