i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
