You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
