If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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