No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
