Too much gin, very little bucket
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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