You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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