You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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