:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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