fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
