I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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