I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
