Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
