maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
