its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pants 0. Shit 1.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
