Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dignity is for republicans.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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