You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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