Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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