I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
