Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
