When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize