After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize