this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
