dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
