dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
