something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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