oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
