I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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