btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
