if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
