She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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