He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize