hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
