i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
