SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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