Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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