did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
