in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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