and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
