Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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