do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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