Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
