I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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