Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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